Softball Coaching Tips - When to Move On

You Can't Save the World - Guest post by Ken Krause, Life in the Fastpitch Lane blog

As a general rule, the type of people who frequent discussion boards such as the Discuss Fastpitch Forum tend to have a high level of interest in the sport. And none more than the coaches who come seeking to share ideas and information.

Coaches such as yourself are usually very dedicated to their teams as well as individual players and/or students. You want the best for all of them all the time. Yet there's a lesson each of us has to learn at one time or another: you can't save the world.

What I mean by that is sometimes, despite your best efforts, a kid just won't be that interested in getting better. When that happens you have two choices: fight a losing battle or move on. In my experience, unfortunately moving on is usually the better choice.

Yes, it's hard to do. You've put in the time and you know you can help that kid if she'd only listen. But she won't. She doesn't care if your way is better. She wants to do it her way, and that's all there is to it. Once that idea sets in, you might as well be trying to show the wall how to field a ground ball or deliver the pitch; the reaction will pretty much be the same.

It's not any lack of effort or ability on your part. It's that you're faced with someone who has made a decision not to learn. Teachers face that all the time. The only thing that keeps them sane is recognizing an advanced case and just trying to get through it as best they can.

While you could probably help that girl, if she won't let you no amount of cajoling or logic or showing video of top-level players is going to convince her to do it. And while you're doing that, other players who are willing to learn and want to learn are losing valuable time you could be spending with them.

It can be difficult to admit that it's not working, but that really is the first step into moving on. I remember once years ago I had a pitching student who clearly didn't want to be at her lessons. I had worked with her older sister, who was a joy and a quick learner. Little sis liked the idea of taking pitching lessons so that big sis didn't have something she didn't. But she didn't like the lessons themselves.

It was clear she never practiced, and often times about 10 minutes into it her stomach hurt, or her head hurt, or something else hurt. Funny how she'd been running around the facility for a half hour before the lesson feeling just fine.

I could never tell during her lesson who was watching the clock more — her or me. It was torture for both of us. I tried to get the dad to see the reality of it and save himself some time and money by stopping. But his daughter insisted she wanted to pitch. Finally one day he wised up and realized she had no real interest in pitching.

It was a relief for me, because quite frankly I was frustrated that she wasn't learning more. I really believed I could save her. But I've come to learn that if a player doesn't want to be saved, there's nothing you can do about it. Just move on and work with the ones who are willing.

Every veteran coach has those stories. Sometimes the kid has a million dollars worth of talent and a nickel head. Sometimes there's stuff going on at home. And sometimes she's being forced into doing something she doesn't want to do. Whatever the reason you can fight it or move on.

One good thing for coaches in our sport is that you tend to get less of it with girls than with boys. I've coached both, and the male ego (even at a young age) is such that it's often difficult to convince a boy he'd be better off doing something other than what he's doing. Generally speaking, it takes going 0 for the last two weeks at the plate or walking half the western hemisphere to change that mindset.

Still, there are girls who defy the "pleaser" label and are determined to cling to the ways that are comfortable for them — whether they're working or not. When that happens, save yourself the aggravation and move on. At such time as she's ready to be trained, she'll let you know.